May 102013
Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life
- Size : 22.61 x 15.24 x 2.04 cm
Do you hunger for skills to improve the quality of your relationships, to deepen your sense of personal empowerment or to simply communicate more effectively? Unfortunately, for centuries our culture has taught us to think and speak in ways that can actually perpetuate conflict, internal pain and even violence. Nonviolent Communication partners practical skills with a powerful consciousness and vocabulary to help you get what you want peacefully.
In this internationally acclaimed tex
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Communication Arts
Professional journal for designers, art directors, design firms illustrators, advertising agencies, photographers, students, and everyone involved in visual communication.
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Profound! The most important book I’ve ever read.,
Initially I thought this book wouldn’t be relevant to me since I didn’t consider myself a “violent” communicator. A few pages into the book however, it became evident to me that despite my easy-going nature, I had much to learn about communication. Dr. Rosenberg identifies learned communication that disconnects us from each other and is at the very root of violence. He then offers a simple yet powerful 4 step model that leads to respectful and compassionate communication. One catch – while the model is simple, it can be challenging to apply, especially when we’re upset. That’s because most of us have learned to blame others when we’re upset and it’s hard to unlearn this behavior. However, use of the model deepens our awareness and it becomes very clear how destructive our habitual knee-jerk reactions are to both ourselves and others. The Nonviolent Communication model helps us to become conscious and choose to respond differently – that is in ways that are more likely to lead to positive and satisfying outcomes for everyone. If you’d like to transform your relationships, for example: learn how to really listen to others while not taking anything you hear personally (what a gift!), learn how to give and receive in ways that are deeply gratifying, and much more, this is a must read. Also, this model is applicable in all relationship types – perfect for couples, parents, teachers, managers, executives, counselors and anyone else interested in relationship building.
On a personal note, this book has been life-changing for me. I have witnessed truly amazing results in all my relationships including one relationship which had been a great struggle for me for many years.
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|New edition’s chapter on self-compassion well worth reading,
In November, 2000, I read the previous edition of this book…The quality of empathy I now am able to provide has enlivened my therapy practice, and meets my need for hope that I can contribute to the well being of my clients, and also connect deeply with my friends and family. The step-by-step empathy skills in this book are learnable by anyone..
This latest edition of Dr. Rosenberg’s book has a completely new chapter called, “Connecting Compassionately with Ourselves.” It’s about what he calls, “self-compassion.” He writes, “When we are internally violent towards ourselves, it is difficult to be genuinely compassionate towards others.” I enjoyed this chapter because it helped me translate my self-judgments into statements of my own unmet needs. I now see that when I am angry with myself it is because my actions were not in harmony with my values. Seeing things from this perspective helps me mourn my action and move into self-forgiveness by connecting with the specfic need I was trying to meet when I used a strategy that I now regret. I particularly enjoyed the section on translating “have-to” into “choose-to.” The exercise showed me how to locate the choice in what I do, by connecting with the need, want, or value each activity serves. I find I have more energy, more compassion when I experience choice in my life.
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|Good material, but presentation leaves a bit to be desired,
I borrowed this book from the local library after it caught my eye, sitting on the “new books” display. It’s a pretty good book, although I do have some reservations about it.
/Nonviolent Communication/ is a rather easy read. This is both good and bad – good, because you’re not slogging through lots of academia-speak and technical jargon; but also bad because you might breeze through the book too quickly to truly absorb the rather useful and insightful information it is offering.
The idea behind the NVC process is rather simple – it’s mostly about learning to be more precise in expressing your feelings, their cause(s), and what you would like done to resolve them. Rather than saying “you never clean the !@#$ kitchen,” the NVC approach would be to say something along the lines of: “When you do not take out the trash in the kitchen, I feel __________.” And so on. NVC also encourages you to be receptive to what other people are saying and feeling, even if (or perhaps especially if) they do not word things with as much precision and care.
The approach is very sound, but I have reservations about the way the book presents it. Most of the example conversations are so unbelievably robotic, at times I just wanted to laugh out loud at how absurd they were. My initial thought was that I was being unreasonable – after all, they’re just words on a page, and perhaps they would seem less laughable in person with real emotion behind them. And then I realized that was the key that was missing – the conversations were little other than the facts of the situation, and the exact words the people said. There was no emotional context, no insight into the feelings that were being expressed. I found this to be extremely ironic. A book about expressing emotions, with lots of examples that HAD no emotion!
I think if you can get beyond the rather mediocre examples, and put genuine *thought* into the principles the author outlines, you will find much of value in the book. Before reading /Nonviolent Communication/, I didn’t think much about how the imprecision in our wording can cause a great deal of conflict. “You are so inconsiderate!” versus “When you leave your dirty dinner plate on the table and go watch football, I feel very angry. Would you please rinse the plate and put it in the dishwasher?” It’s a world of difference, and I believe there is much benefit to this approach.
Final thought: there’s a lot of good stuff in this book, but the presentation could use some work. Read the book carefully, and do not go as quickly as the breezy writing style allows – the material here needs careful consideration for it to truly benefit you.
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|Favorite design Mag!,
I love this magazine and think it’s a great subscription to have for any designer! I do think that Amazon should have a lower price however. The communication arts website [...] has a much cheaper price for current students. I also wish amazon would have a kindle version of this magazine! I love it, but the magazines are big and bulky and I’d love to be able to take it on the go. Otherwise, it is well worth the subscription!
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|a little late,
Subscribed here thinking this would be a much easier way to manage it each year. Its really no saving over ordering direct from the magazine. only problem is that i entered my subscription on Nov. 9, 2011, expecting first issue 60 or so days later. Won’t get first issue until March 9, 2012. seems a tad long to wait.
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