May 252013
Confessions of a Gender Defender : A Psychologist’s Reflections on Life Among the Transgendered
“A remarkable book! In turn, heartbreaking and hilarious”. — Tim Kazurinsky, “Saturday Night Live”, screenwriter of About Last NightThis is a firsthand look at the fascinating and controversial phenomenon of transexualism — men who want to be women and women who want to be men. Gender is the most misunderstood topic of our time. The patients introduced in this book all fight quiet battles — at home and in the workplace — with what has been called the “uninvited dilemma” of being born into th
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A great book written with a lot of love and insight,
Having recently come to the realization that I was seriously transgendered myself it was with a fresh viewpoint that I read this book. What I found in reading this work was something that truly touched my heart and soul. The descriptions,both through Dr. Ettner’s and her patient’s eyes, put into words the feelings and emotions that I have just started to come to grips with. Dr. Ettner shows the love and compassion that seem to be missing in so many of the books written about transgender people. Rather than filling the book with dry clinical terms and emotionless analysis of why these people are who they are she instead chose to show the depth of both her own feelings towards this group of people and the depth of the client’s emotions as well. As a result, in the land of stodgy works that treat transgender people more as lab rats than people ,thus choking out all emotions or spiritual matters, this book reads like a breath of fresh air. Since emotions play such a big role in how someone with a gender identity issue lives their lives and sees themselves a book without them is missing a large part of the story. Some people might criticize the lack of “scientific objectivity” in this book; personally, I find that in eschewing this the book is much better at getting information to people than if it were full of clinical methodology and analysis.
The book, due to its very nature, is an easy read and yet is so compelling due to the viewpoint and style of its author that I think most readers will find it hard to put down. The mix of sadness and joy that fill this book will touch the heart of almost any reader, whether transgendered or not. I will caution readers that if you get embarassed easily by crying in public don’t read this book in a public place; I don’t come to tears easily and I cried several times while reading this book.
Overall this book does a big service in trying to describe what has been a very difficult and often shame filled subject and make it into just another facet of human expression and existence, with all the highs and lows and joy and sorrow that come along with any form of being human. It demystifies who transgender people are and helps others understand that they are just trying to find happiness and live the way they strongly feel they must. In addition to helping those who are not transgender understand better the book also helps those of us who find ourselves to be this way to better understand who we are and why we feel the way we do and that we are not alone.
This book is the one book that I would recommend without hesitation to anyone either trying to come to grips with their own gender status or for those trying to understand others in this situation. Brava to Dr. Ettner!
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|Relieving for this parent of a transgendered person,
This book really opened my eyes to the turmoil which my child has been going through for most of her life. It gave me an expanded view of the separation of gender and sex.
I read this book in a single reading: laughing, then crying. It has helped me to accept my childs condition, understand the social risks and rewards, what is typically the several years long process of transition and has inspired me to do all I can to support her in what will be a difficult time, physically and emotionally.
Thank you, Randi Ettner, thank you from the bottom of my heart.
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|Good introductory book for inlaws and friends,
of the transgendered. As we on the outside of this condition try to understand it and take it as seriously as the individuals deserve, Dr. Ettner’s book is easily readable, compassionate, and compelling. Particularly apt for someone who doesn’t want to be overwhelmed with hundreds of pages or too much scientific jargon.
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